So Afraid

I was speaking on the phone the other day, to a friend, who is such a precious encourager.  She used a term to describe me that still causes me to well up in tears of gratitude.  She said my “stability” was such a blessing.  Me, stable?  Yes, me, stable!  I told her that was absolutely YHWH.  Before Messiah touched me, stable would be about the last word anyone would use to describe me.  Since that conversation, an old song that hit the Christian charts about 15 years ago, has been “playing” over in my mind and heart.  It was entitled, “Strollin’ on the Water.”

 walking_on_water cropped

This was one of the first contemporary songs that touched me, I mean touched me to the core.  I wept every time I heard it, still often do.  In one place, Bryan Duncan sounds nearly breathless as he sings the words “so afraid.”  Before I was made whole, music didn’t touch me.  Oh, I had favorite songs along the way, and of course a few favorite artists.  I sang along with the radio and loved to go dancing, but it was only superficial and “what everyone else seemed to enjoy.”  There had been a couple of spiritual songs way back in my younger days, that now bring a remembrance, but those were reintroduced after following Messiah.  I’ve since read that music touches all of our emotions, simultaneously, but I was so emotionally fractured, that simply wasn’t possible.  When I was made whole, music took on new meaning in my life.  It touched me deeply.  I had no idea what I’d been  missing!    Back to “so afraid.”


The reason for coming to the internet was to share my testimony of mental healing.  That was my purpose for buying a computer and going online, but . . . that was back in the days of screen IDs and yahoo groups.  I would have never guessed, in a million years, that I’d have an illustration of the actual place I live, my real name and photo next to books, and actually host visitors in person that I’d met through social media.  I had no idea, the internet outreach would become so personal . . . so when Abba said, it’s time for details in your personal testimony, I was “so afraid.”  I have seen, even those in the mental health field, especially those in the mental health field; don’t believe anyone is ever actually healed.  I even told Abba, in fear and trembling, “but I finally have a reputation of integrity.”  His response was succinct, “That’s why the time is; now.”


I read the lyrics; I listened again to the song, and even watched Bryan’s video.  My testimony isn’t about me, it’s about what our Heavenly Father can do!  My testimony is about what happens to a person, when Messiah touches them.  Everything in my life has been bringing me to this place for such a time as this.  At this point in history, when the powers that be have a mental dis-health label ready for everyone, I know that I know, psychology is not the answer and pharmaceuticals are not the answer.  Y’hshuwah Messiah is the answer!






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