My family struggles intensely against my walk with Messiah and my healing. It’s changed all the interactive family dynamics, and change isn’t welcome when it comes to family traditions. The past couple of weeks have given me wonderful insight as to how much about how being a “new creation” is truly new . . . and different. Sabbath keeping and Torah observance, all these years later continues to be a point of contention for loved ones, but my stand on health has brought some horrendous accusations against me. I don’t really know, yet, how to share those within the criteria of Exodus 20:12. So here’s an interesting little scenario that has unfolded for the past couple of weeks that has left me profoundly grateful for the understanding that it really isn’t me. Since it isn’t me, I have no need to try to defend or explain myself. I just have to speak truth and then keep my tongue bridled.
Daddy took my nephew on a fishing trip. My nephew had a summer cold and within a few days, Daddy was feeling it coming on. He refused mom’s insistence to see a doctor, so she called me for natural remedies. We discussed a formula for an herbal tea. I shared what I knew and reminded her of some of the essential oils I’d given them and which ones should help, how and where to apply them, etc. She ended the conversation with, well, I’ll see if any of this helps, Axl; went to the doctor and got antibiotics. I’ll let you know if any of this works. And yes, my nephew, Axl; is named for a the “rockstar” . . . yet I digress.
I called that evening to see if she had carried out all the remedy plans. The conversation was short. “She thought she’d done everything we talked about, but he just needs to go to the doctor.” I got off the phone. I called the next morning, after 10am to see how he was. I woke mom up and Daddy was already up and gone to work on fence or something at one of his places. But she had advice and a recommendation for me as to how to take care of my husband . . . He should go to the doctor, but probably doesn’t because of my beliefs. To that I said, my beliefs don’t alter any of lifestyle, I’ll call and check on Daddy later. I called back that afternoon and woke her from a nap, but Daddy was home, so I talked to him. He said he thought he was going to get it “shook off,” before it took hold. He wasn’t up to par, but didn’t think he was losing ground. I suggested more of the teas and oils and he said he was fixing his tea and applying the oils.
I called the next morning, late again, just to check on him and again, woke mom and Daddy was gone. She then had menu suggestions for what I needed to prepare for Mr. B’s breakfast and mentioned again that I should do more food preservation by freezing rather than canning. I shake my head and roll my eyes and get off the phone as quickly as possible, keeping my tongue bridled.
Now, I have an hereditary issue that my Dad has and his Dad also experienced. I have discovered a reflexology point that greatly relieves the issue, so I called to share it with Daddy. It was mid afternoon, and I woke mom from a nap . . .
As I tried to explain what I had discovered she insisted upon telling me what I needed to be doing for my husband. Bridled, bridled . . . It then hit me like a ton of bricks. She doesn’t realize I can connect the dots. She is still trying to have authority over that broken little girl who would just keep jumping through hoops trying to please and meet demands.
Still at this age, now in ministry for 20 years, she has continuously recommended jobs for me, outside of ministry. She is relentless in her push for mainstream medicine in my life, and she has let me know, the books I’ve authored are unclear to her. This poor woman is still looking for the disconnected awareness in my former mental health. She has actually verbalized on more than one occasion that I’m weird . . . Sadly, she uses the terms disloyal and dishonoring regarding the discernment I’ve been given when YHWH healed my mind.